Growing up

This poem is for my big 2nd grader who started school today! I love you Daniel. I hope everyone enjoys it.

Get in get in the car you say,  Hurry up we’re on our way Climb up,  Shut the door That’s what you are looking for. 
Out the door go on today Now we have time to play Line up Count to ten  Run and hide we play again
Teacher teacher help me out I lost my tooth i do not doubt Smile now Check the floor Look right here I lost three more
Sit down right now next to me Open your lunch and we’ll see Who trades Then we eat Look my mom sent me a treat
I’m going home now on the bus brought my pack now that’s a plus Sit down Wait to go I’m by my friends I’ll say hello
Mother brother where are you I’ve come right home to see you two, Hug me  Hear my day First day of school was hip hooray

Dropback accomplished!

Ok ok, I know I said that yesterday I did it, but today I really did it. I even stood up out of it!

I was doing my hormone sequence as usual when I noted on Ustrasana (Camel) it is incorrect to lean back to bring your arms to your feet, it is all in the upper back and the weight stays in the thighs/ knees. Then I remembered about that You Tube video that I watched yesterday, where she said the weight needs to be in the legs, and I saw that even when her arms were extended back the weight was still in her legs. That was never the case with mine yesterday.

So armed with this understanding, I started to prep for the dropback again. It did not take long, and there was no falling over today, luckily because I don't need another mark on my back, I was able to go into and out of the pose on the chair. I'll let you see the video I made tonight. It is not perfect, but it shows where I am going.

And I am not sure if I thank OCD for repeatedly telling me I did not do a dropback yesterday…

Take a chance

So today I was doing my hormone sequence and all I could think about was a short YouTube video of a yogi doing Drop backs into backbend. It was beautiful. That is one of my yoga goals. But I have always been afraid of doing it and hurting myself.

But as I was in Ustrasana, and reaching back for my feet I realized this is similar to how I would start the drop back.... and then a faint recollection of words from Mr. Iyengar's words when I was learning headstand in the middle of the room,

"The best w ay to overcome fear is to face with equanimity the situation of which one is afraid. Then one gets the correct perspective, and one is not frightened any more. To topple over whil learning the head stand is not as terrible as we imagine"

With that in my mind I remembered my first fall in headstand. It wasn't too bad, and I looked around, where could I make this pose a little easier? We have an ottoman about 2.5 ft tall. Perfect. I took my mat went over there and tried.... a…


On Monday I head to UCLA for OCD treatment. It has been interesting the last 8 months I have been really struggling with my OCD. I was diagnosed with it just under a year ago, but as my knowledge continues to grow about this mental health issue I realize how long I have been suffering from this as a child, to teenage years to college and on my mission. 

It really has hit me hard this last week how much of my life has been encompassed by this illness. There is never a break with this.

But on Monday I will leave for 6 weeks to do nothing but have therapy, go to the Temple, do yoga, and go on walks with my momma. It sounds so nice and perfect. But I know it will be some of the hardest work I will be doing in my life.

I may need a lot of Dr. Peppers to get me through this. So far I am down to 1 or 2 a day, and that is HUGE to what I was doing a few months ago.

Sibling Yoga

I'm a tree standing tall
Your a tree upside down on the wall

We can both be dogs if I put my hands and feet on my mat
While you put your feet upon my back

Sister as airplanes soar stick out your arms and fly
No, I'd rather be superman zooming through the sky

Stand up, twist the body stay on one leg as an eagle,
look ahead, keep the head up and be calm and regal.

I turned into a candlestick to help light up your way,
Brother, when your with me I always see clear as day.

Can we be camels, and see the world from upside down?
It would be great be fun to have a camel to roam with around town.

Look, look the dogs are doing yoga, just like we were they are following us you see?
I'll stand straight and tall, now look, did they follow me?

Sit down on the floor sit really really long
Stick your legs out in front of you and sing your favorite song.

Time to sit thoughtfully,
bring both legs in and count quietly,
We close our eyes and meditate,
so the world flows peacefully,

Lastly lay…

Hormones have woken up!

For the last almost 3 years now I have been fighting with my hormones. Since I had Michael they refused to come back to normal. I have been seeing a specialist, which about 5 people have told me to see her, and so far treatments were OK, but honestly not getting me results that I needed. We were pretty sure that my hormone issues were connected to my depression.

About 1.5 months ago we tried our last ditch effort. I had tried the creams, pills, oils, patch, and lozenges, nothing was working with my body. So now we were going to do the shot. I also wised up and decided to lean in and get in touch with Bobby Clennell, an Intermediate Senior II Iyengar Yoga teacher, meaning she has been trained by Mr. Iyengar and his children multiple times. She is a beautiful artist, and is the author of my daughter's favorite book, "Watch me do Yoga",  and she has studied the female body and how it works so intensely that I knew she would know what to do to help me.

I reached out to her, I…

Everyday Yoga

I am hit often with the feeling, if I can't practice for [set amount of time], then why even practice? Well because at this time in my life that time limit is not where I am. That is ok.

What if your practice is focusing on your breathing and how you stand? Stand in a really good Tadasana / mountain pose and feel the height that comes to your body as you do so. Or finish your day with a restorative pose, lay back for 2-10 minutes in Supta Virasana, Supta Baddha Konasana, Legs up the Wall, or Savasana - all without trying to fall asleep.
That can be a great

Why you ask? Because yoga is not about the bending or toning of the body. It is about uniting the mind and soul together. We use Asanas/ poses to work the body and tire it out so the body is ready to accept the will of the soul. The mind has been thinking so much about the poses that it is ready to relax and stay calm, and let the soul take over. It is this unity of mind, body, soul that we seek in yoga. There are di…